Building Confidence – Tips Inspired by Stamping Out My Inner Chicken

By Barb Girson

While attending a WELD (Women for Economic Leadership Development)  meeting, the speaker asked the predominately-female audience to contribute feedback.  After a few people offered ideas, I stood up and spoke. “Hello, I am Barb Girson of My Sales Tactics…(now DBA Beyond Sales Tactics)” I began.

As soon as I said my name, the little voice inside my head (my inner chicken) started speaking as well. “Do you realize that you are the only person out of 10 or more contributors who said your name? And did you notice no one else stood up to speak…?”

I felt my face get flush.  I could feel my inner chicken squawking.  My bolder self was saying, “Go ahead, don’t be afraid to stand out. Others probably wish they had the courage to speak out, too.”

As a professional executive and leadership coach, I am experienced in recognizing times where we can build confidence and tune out the inner critic.  Therefore, after acknowledging my inner critic, I invited my squawking chicken to fly away and confidently proceeded to speak. I clipped its wings so to speak.

While this story happened several years ago, it remains a powerful experience in my personal and professional development. Looking back on this moment, my immediate reaction to my natural way of being was self-doubt for standing up and speaking out, for being bold. Only about 10% of the audience spoke up at one time or another.  One other person stood up when she spoke. None of the other participants introduced themselves professionally before commenting.

For a moment, I gave my inner critic credence. Then, I remembered that I had something valuable to contribute to move the conversation forward.

This insight led me to think about how you, perhaps an already successful leader may benefit from these executive coaching tips below.  As you review them I challenge you to focus on developing one tiny practice to build your confidence and celebrate who you are. Inspired by my experience, here are some tips to help you build your confidence and enhance your professional executive presence.

Bring Your True Self Along

In her best-selling book, Lean In, Sheryl Sandburg sites research by Marcus Buckingham that indicates “leadership needs to be more than a pre-defined set of qualities (like strategic, analytical, and performance-oriented)”.  A strong part of the message recommends leaders be authentic and express themselves. Sheryl adds to his findings saying that she supports leaders who do this imperfectly.  After Sheryl’s memorable TED talk, she was asked by many listeners to keep speaking up and she encouraged others to do the same.

Building Confidence Strategies while Networking

When I attend networking events—live or virtual, meetings, classes, or presentations— if I have something valuable to contribute, I make it a practice to participate. This does not mean being the loudest voice in the room, and while it is important to listen to what others are saying there is also value in contributing. Show up,  participate, and be heard, and invite other voices in the space to speak up too.

From another perspective, as a professional public speaker, I appreciate when the audience engages—especially during online events. It is gratifying to converse with my audience instead of lecture. So, when I am in the audience, I like to help the speaker.

What can you do to reach your own next level of greatness?

When attending networking events, meetings, classes, or presentations, try these confidence-building exercises:

1. Look for opportunities to make valuable contributions to the conversation. Keep your responses brief in respect to the speaker and others that wish to share.

2. Stand up when you make a comment or the virtual equivalent turn your video on. Let yourself be seen and heard. “Own it!” as Oprah would say. Your input is important to the conversation.

3. Start by identifying yourself and your business or organization.

If you feel uncomfortable doing this, practice gaining confidence in settings where there is little or no pressure. It will get easier. Not only does this build your courage muscle, it gives you practice silencing your inner chicken by building self-worth and developing  the skill of extemporaneous speaking.

Go ahead, stamp out your inner chicken!